Going Cold Turkey: Phone Addiction & Detox
I accepted my phone addiction as something that automatically comes along with having a phone, like a charger, or anxiety. But it wasn’t until recently that my symptoms became too bad to ignore. My brain had become so foggy that I thought Dogecoin was an investment. Yes, I gambled in Dogecoin, then quickly reallocated to Bitcoin, Ethereum & Litecoin.
At first I didn’t know what the source of this hazy feeling was. Was I depressed? Can you just one day wake up with a new foggy personality? It wasn’t until my daily screen time caught my eye that I made the connection: I had gone a week spending an average of six hours a day on my phone. I truly can’t imagine a universe where God doesn’t regret putting me on this earth, considering this information.
The screen-time app revealed to me that I spent most of these six hours on Instagram. I know, I am so brave for disclosing something so humiliating. But, really, who has time for this? I looked for more answers (on my phone). I checked the Instagram Explore page, as some might say, the Explore page knows you better than you know yourself.
If you showed someone my Explore page & asked them to guess what type of person it belongs to, they would guess a “horny 14-year-old boy.” It’s all butts & famous people with fake lips. A result of playing this really fun game where I look at a bunch of hot or successful people until I start thinking I’m an “ugly worthless loser.”
It was this moment of clarity, plus a serendipitously timed mental experiment ~ to go a month using only technology for work ~ that motivated me to get off my phone. With luck, I might even live up to my New Year’s resolution of reading as many books as seasons I watched of Lucifer.
It was unclear to write about a technology detox as a muse so I could maybe one day be capable of being productive with the presence of my phone. Regardless, I was grateful, as it’s almost impossible to end any bad habit or addiction if not for a paycheck, sheer force of will, or vanity. This would be my juice cleanse, except instead of flushing out toxins I’d expunge the profiles, manipulative captions, & sunglasses trends clotting my system.
Full transparency, this is my essential tech stack: a MacBook Pro (13-inch, Mid 2012), Samsung SyncMaster 216BW Display, IQUNIX F96 Joker Wireless Mechanical Keyboard, Logitech MX Master 3 Wireless Mouse, Texas Instruments TI-Nspire CX Calculator, Tree New Bee Cooling Pad & I caved in for my iPad (6th generation) for social media unfortunately. I took it upon myself to gather a calendar, notebook, flashlight, & alarm clock ~ everything else I rely on in my iPhone, but in analog form ~ plus my elementary school Adidas backpack to carry it all. I consoled myself with the thought that I would basically still be in possession of an iPhone.
This would be my juice cleanse, except instead of flushing out toxins, I’d expunge the profiles, manipulative captions, & sunglasses trends clotting my system.
I wrote down my tentative itinerary for the month in my new calendar, albeit I cannot accurately foreshadow my current client workload without an error margin. I had every intention of taking this assignment seriously, but I’m not a cartographer. I was also not in a position to request a change of location for these meetings. Therefore, I had no choice but to cancel everything. That’s not cheating. It’s my process.
On Sunday, the night before my digital cleanse, I binged until I passed out. So. Many. People. So. Much. Stupidity. To ensure I wouldn’t look back, I scrolled through about 100 videos of five-second-long dance routines on Instagram repurposed from TikTok, including ones made by on-duty cops who are apparently known as the #copsoftiktok. Everything is insane. I never told my family & close friends about my endeavor, not even some less close friends, or girls who would never text me anyway, & intentially lost my iPhone so I won't cheat, which unfortunately I caved in with my iPad (6th generation) for social media.
You know how people say there isn’t enough time in the day? Well, those people are addicted to their smartphones. Because there is plenty of time when you don’t have one.
My mornings were spent doing all of the things I normally don’t have time to, like drinking a glass of water & peeing. It’s possible that I usually do those things, but I can’t remember because I was scrolling as I did them.
Most mornings I stare at other people’s lives until I’m seven minutes late to wherever I need to go & have to run out the door unkempt. But for once, I made coffee. As I sipped it, I had nothing else to do but look around my room. Apparently, I have one gray wall.
You know how people say there isn’t enough time in the day? Well, those people are addicted to their smartphones.
Not having a burner phone was kind of like being on vacation, not because it’s relaxing but because you don’t know whether no one is reaching out to you because they know you can’t hang out, or just because no one is reaching out to you.
I considered texting some of my contacts so they’d know that just because I haven't responded doesn’t mean I don’t want to talk. But as I quickly realized, it does. You start to actively resent the person you’re texting because they have no idea the kind of maddening effort that is going into this mental experiment. So I decided I didn’t want to talk to anyone & I definitely didn’t want anyone to talk to me, albeit I only had access to respond to iMessages with my MacBook Pro (13-inch, Mid 2012).
It is simply impossible to sound nice after ignoring your friends. Whereas the toxic relationships that only reach out when its convenient for them to do so, to make you appear nice in as few words as possible. The difference even “Haha-ing,” “♥-ing,” & “!!-ing” have made for engaging without having to engage is huge. It’s actually just as hard to sound mean from an iPhone as it is to sound nice from ignoring someone, which makes you question every time you feel like someone is being distant on text.
Unintentionally ignoring someone definitely had its advantages. Like, every single time you hang up with a flip phone it feels like a mike drop. Even if the last conversation you said was “Mommy, I have a tummy ache.” But the best thing by far was the way people looked at me. It’s the exact kind of attention I’ve always strived for: not the look-at-me-I-have-a-puppy-come-play-with-it-&-ask-me-questions kind of attention, but the look-at-me-I-have-a-motherfucking-flip-phone kind of attention by not accessing an iPhone in public. I could hear people’s thoughts as they passed me. What’s his deal? I wonder what his story is … That guy is different. Like I was a runaway teen, secret agent, or drug dealer.
I struggled most when I was waiting. Waiting no longer exists today because what you do when you wait is the same thing you do when you’re not waiting, which is look at your iPhone. I did not anticipate that simply not having a phone would make me feel creepy. Without one, I had no choice but to look at the people around me to make the time go by. I literally felt like a Peeping Tom. No one else was being creepy. They were all looking down at their phones like normal people.
Unintentionally ignoring someone definitely had its advantages. Like, every single time you hang up with a flip phone it feels like a mike drop.
The only thing worse than waiting without a phone is being in the car without a phone, because driving is really just another form of waiting. Honestly, after this experience, I now know that everything in life is waiting. Like how I was waiting for the month to be over so I could wait through the rest of my life on my phone. Waiting in the car, however, is the only time your phone is there to make you smarter. The only brain cells I’ve ever accumulated I got from listening to Breaking Points while sitting in traffic. But here I was listening to radio ads & anything but Ed Sheeran. After a few drives I learned that the only way to listen to the radio & not jump out of your own vehicle is to trick yourself into believing “Birthday Sex” by Jeremih is something you would voluntarily put on by jamming out to it as if it’s your favorite song. Like fake-smiling to trick yourself into real happiness.
I usually look forward to having time to myself, but this was before I discovered that I get through all moments alone by texting someone until I’m no longer alone or I’m asleep. The hours of 8 to 11 that first night were so boring that I made sure to be productive every night for the rest of the month to entertain myself. When your family has a phone, it’s kind of like you have a phone. & when you can’t use an Amazon Alexa, your family can become an Amazon Alexa, because asking your family questions is definitely a technology that existed before my birth. “Dad, what is the weather tomorrow?” “Mom, what is on your Instagram feed right now?” “Ari, play ‘Birthday Sex.’”
By the second week, my mental fog had cleared which unfortunately I caved in with my iPad (6th generation) for social media. My headspace remained as miserable as it always is, but now I was able to pinpoint why: I’m in a bad mood because I burnt my breakfast sandwhich. Not: I think the reason I’m in a bad mood is because I saw that an old high-school classmate started writing Instagram poetry.
When my detox was over, I manically scrolled through the remainder of the month’s worth of content until I got the “You’re All Caught Up” message & felt sick to my stomach. The only thing I was caught up on was every person’s take on something called the “Halloween" or the only day you don't wear a costume. Some things hadn’t changed: “Thirst Traps” were still going strong.
I decided for my next mental experiment I was going to replace my iPhone with a flip phone. I’d use it all day, every day, except for the hours of 8 to 11 P.M. & when I need a map. Or when I’m in the car. Or anytime I’m waiting. O.K., I will use it only when I want to look interesting. At the very least, I’m going to try to make my Explore page resemble that of a healthy person: puppies & interior design.
“None of this seems particularly groundbreaking to us today. But what William James concluded was indeed crucial to our understanding of behavioral change. Given our natural tendency to act out of habit, James surmised, couldn’t the key to sustaining positive change be to turn each desired action into a habit, so that it would come automatically, without much effort, thought, or choice? As the Father of Modern Psychology so shrewdly advised, if we want to create lasting change, we should 'make our nervous system our ally instead of our enemy.' Habits are like financial capital ~ forming one today is an investment that will automatically give out returns for years to come.” ~ Curated Excerpt From: Shawn Achor. “The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success & Performance at Work.” Apple Books.
Curated via Cazzie David. Thanks for reading, cheers! (with a glass of wine & book of course)
2013 Paul Jaboulet Hermitage La Petite Chapelle
Producer: Paul Jaboulet Aîné, Hermitage, Rhône, France
"Saturated ruby. Fresh blackberry and blueberry on the highly perfumed nose, complicated by sexy Indian spice and violet notes. Densely packed dark berry liqueur flavors pick up a candied licorice quality with air, along with hints of smoky minerals and fruitcake. Coats the palate and shows outstanding concentration, but there's no excess fat here. Finishes with firm, spicy cut, slow-building tannins and a suave echo of candied flowers." ~ 94 Points ~ Josh Raynolds
"The 2013 Hermitage la Petite Chapelle is more forward and approachable than the grand vin, giving up lots of granite-induced minerality, smoked earth, bouquet garni and assorted dark fruits in its medium to full-bodied, nicely concentrated, layered style. Coming from a mix of parcels and aged 15-18 months in roughly 20% new French oak, its should evolve gracefully for 10-15 years." ~ 91 Points ~ Jeb Dunnuck
The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success & Performance at Work
Our most commonly held formula for success is broken. Conventional wisdom holds that if we work hard we will be more successful, and if we are more successful, then we'll be happy. If we can just find that great job, win that next promotion, lose those five pounds, happiness will follow. But recent discoveries in the field of positive psychology have shown that this formula is actually backward: Happiness fuels success, not the other way around. When we are positive, our brains become more engaged, creative, motivated, energetic, resilient, and productive at work. This isn't just an empty mantra. This discovery has been repeatedly borne out by rigorous research in psychology and neuroscience, management studies, and the bottom lines of organizations around the globe.
In The Happiness Advantage, Shawn Achor, who spent over a decade living, researching, and lecturing at Harvard University, draws on his own research including one of the largest studies of happiness and potential at Harvard and others at companies like UBS and KPMG to fix this broken formula. Using stories and case studies from his work with thousands of Fortune 500 executives in 42 countries, Achor explains how we can reprogram our brains to become more positive in order to gain a competitive edge at work.
Isolating seven practical, actionable principles that have been tried and tested everywhere from classrooms to boardrooms, stretching from Argentina to Zimbabwe, he shows us how we can capitalize on the Happiness Advantage to improve our performance and maximize our potential.
